Revisiting the topic one year later: How to integrate into a Foreign Place/ Culture?

It has been 11 months since I posted my first reflection. Ahhh.... How time flies! After 2 months of living in Brooklyn, I returned to Singapore, packed more stuff to bring over. Several months later, I'm back in New York. This time, I do not know for how long God wills.

The good thing about writing your thoughts down sometimes, is you can look back and read, and realise how much you've grown, and how differently you may be thinking now.

Firstly, i thought my friends and family would be crying buckets at the airport, and that parting would be difficult. It wasn't. Well, my bestfriend and I resolved the sadness of parting months before, so my airport departure wasn't too much of a problem. And as for the rest of my friends and family, nobody cried. Everybody seemed happy, everyone wanted me to make the best out of it, and everyone was keen to visit me in NYC - haha!

1. Location of my Home
Yep, I stay in a relatively safe place now. But man, it's a little far from Manhatten because my husb wanted to save little more on rent. It's like staying in Jurong West, when your office is in Raffles Place (but on a larger scale). And somewhat like Jurong West, I stay in relatively close to the beach - Coney Island. We live beside a street of Chinese supermarkets and restaurants on Avenue U, so that satisfies us as we see lots of chinese faces everywhere. So yup, we feel at home. For now. We are going to move, and I'll update you more on that some other time. What's important in searching for an apartment? Safety definately! And my new reflection is that taking the time to walk the street, and to talk to folks around the street about how they feel about the neighbourhood is a much better way than looking through forums and "bestplaces.net". Do you like the condition of how the houses in the surrounding neighbourhood? What is your gut feel about the people walking around this neighbourhood? Are the shops around there useful and sufficient for you? Are you near the Metro? If your answer is "Yes/Good", and the rent is within your budget, that can potentially be your new home.

2. Picking up the Lingo
To my surprise, there is no pressing need to speak in an American accent here. There is no need to 'blend in perfectly'. In Singapore, I witnessed that if you spoke fluently in English and included an accent, other friends who favour Singlish might tease you - "Wah! Your England so powderful ah! Dun let that leh..." But here, the city of immigrants, united by the common goal of making money, respect eachother's language and accent. If you think Singapore is quite a multi-racial society, then New York is super-duper-multi-racial-multi-national. Possibly 200 over nationalities/languages squeezed into this city. They try their best with their English, and try their best to understand the other person. People of common mother tongues cluster together naturally, but they always seem happy to converse with you. The one who is more cautious in conversing with others is usually me, the sheltered Singaporean.

3. Community Activity/ Service
Hmm...I have not much to say about this other than that there are plenty of FREE community activities here... mostly to do with the Arts. And yup, we've been attending Redeemer Presbyterian Church regularly, and have yet to start attending a regular group. Once again, I'm looking forward to that!

4. Sharing a Universal Love
Ah...recycling is hot here, and I've joined a recycing group called Freecycle. I'm not close to anyone yet, but I definately enjoyed the activities! I'm still looking for an amateur group to share my love of music. Sigh~ I need to get myself a music-keyboard to play at least.

I'll revisit all these thoughts again next year. ;-)

How to integrate into a Foreign Place/Culture?

Moving to another country half way around the world isn't the easiest thing to do. It is a hassle, not to mention tear jerking when it is time to say goodbye. I've been so comfortable with Singapore, found buddies, loved the inexpensive variety of food, and have adapted to the comfort of a stable climate, natural-disaster free, low crime, politically stable country i've called home since the day I was born. What a blessing, don't you think? I'm not moving to a "better" place, but a different place. That being New York. And I would have to learn to integrate myself if I really want to learn something from being there. I will be actively finding a place to stay in NY or NJ next week, but my official move will only be next year.

Here are some of my ideas of how one can integrate, and feel comfortable:

1. Location of Your Home

Look at the mix of people of the place you're moving to, crime rate, health index, etc. The safer the place, the more you'd be comfortable interacting with neighbours, exploring the vicinity and taking public transport. Best Places helped me with looking at different locales, and comments from people who live in these places are helpful too. Having friends you might know who live there would be helpful too (especially if they don't live too far away).

2. Pick up the Lingo

I might be wrong, but I think picking up some Spanish an Hip Hop Lingo would be helpful. Language helps us to connect to people better. I don't want to be one of those who loses our Singlish abilities just because i've moved to another country of course... (Yes, Singlish to me is like a superpower language! Long sentences can shortened easily and meaningfully. "Is it?" <- There you go, "is it" is not an English sentence). But ya, to turn "peeps" into "homies", Lingo fluency helps. I've known foreign friends and colleagues who were perplexed (some even disgusted) with Singlish who have become fluent in Singlish now. Cool. 3. Community Activity/ Service

Some regular involvement with a particular group of people will probably help alot. I don't make friends immediately when I go to work or school... ... It is gradual. It takes time to know people. Going to school or office will already expose you to a group of people you can socialise with regularly. And these people can sometimes turn into your "family" while in a foreign country. But what if you're not attending school/ work there? I guess going to church and joining a group there would be a good alternative for me. Joining a serving ministry is good too. I've heard alot about Redeemer Presbytarian for the quality of its sermons, as well as it's community service/outreach to the local people. I am looking forward to visit. :-)

4. Share a Universal Love

Going to school/work/church/community service is one gradual way to bond - you may not know what to talk about when you're with them sometimes. But if you have a hobby like reading, hiking... ... finding a group of people who share your love is another great way, AND you'd have a great common topic to talk about. I personally would like to try to do something with music. :-D Jam session anyone? Hahaha *blush*

With Singapore being small (geographically...perhaps economically too?), it has definately become more common for Singaporeans to move to another country, for education/work/better opportunities of sorts - foreigners move to Singapore for the same reasons. We have relatives and friends (possibly even you?) - who have moved to another country with a culture different for a few years. Back home, we can tell easily who the foreigners are. And now, I'M THE FOREIGNER. Yikes.

Reflection:

Please state which country you have moved to, or where you imagine you'd like to go. Did any of the above work for you? What do you think are the best ways to integrate comfortably into another country/ culture?